My dad left for Spokane, and now it's the end of the first week. Its been a long week. Finals, and lack of barn sociallity and my schedule getting all screwed up has only added the factors of his absense and my knowing he is on the other side of the state.But I try and stay positive through it all. Now that we're in a state of action, its a relief, but at the same time, we stuck in miles of pudding. AKA, moving really slow.
We started working on the living room, so that got us a little more unstuck, but there's still so much do to. Ugh.
So that's my update for the moment. More later!
Never stop goin for your goal. Things will get hard, and that's not just saying so. It is. You will tink peopl are right, but they really aren't. You have to keep in your mind that things will turn out the way you want it, and if they don't, you're going to make it happen. People will tell you its not right, and because of the invisible walls put around our minds through culture and rules, we think we can't. But like I said, theyre only in your mind.
<3 Beth
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
So Things are Changing
Tonight we are having going away dinner for my dad tonight with all the siblings over. Whilst we wait for them, though, I'm spending my time blogging and jumping on the bed to Hilary Duff with Shiann, the eldest neice, and blogging. Dad leaves tomorrow and Mom's going to crack down on us and get this house ready. I guess she's decided that if the house sels before June, we're going to move. So, we'll just have to see how this all goes. :(
Dad was released from the bishopric today, and in his testimony announced to everyone why, so that directed all the attention to the rest of us. They old us that everyone and their bother and their dogs live over there. Its gotten to the hig annoyance end of things. I'd rather not have everyone know who we are when we get there because everyone who knows everyone over here will know us. It'd be worse than moving into a small town.
To me, this move should be a new start, somewhere new where we aren't known at all and just slip into society.
Well, That's all the time I have. Short and sweet and to the beat. Expirience life as it comes at you. Gettig stuck at any point in time will just cause a bunch of problems.
<3 Beth
Dad was released from the bishopric today, and in his testimony announced to everyone why, so that directed all the attention to the rest of us. They old us that everyone and their bother and their dogs live over there. Its gotten to the hig annoyance end of things. I'd rather not have everyone know who we are when we get there because everyone who knows everyone over here will know us. It'd be worse than moving into a small town.
To me, this move should be a new start, somewhere new where we aren't known at all and just slip into society.
Well, That's all the time I have. Short and sweet and to the beat. Expirience life as it comes at you. Gettig stuck at any point in time will just cause a bunch of problems.
<3 Beth
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Treasures Obliviously Unseen
With all the new technology in the world, it's hard to see the things that we have and keep us going without even reazling we have it. Such as friends, the will do to something,the head on our shoulders, the friends we have, the peronallity we have to have those people love and respect us instead of being nice to our face and snitchy behind our backs.
During this time of getting ready to move, I think I've noticed this more and more and been more grateful for those sorts of things. Most people when they hear they're going to move, start to distance themselves from their friends hoping to make the separation easier. I've found I want to cling more tightly to my friends so they think the best of me before I leave. As long as yo leave a good impression behind, why should the bond between you and your friends ever diminish? Yes, maybe you won't talk to them as much, or you might run into them as many times, but so long as you love them, and they love you, that bond will always be there.
So what if some people move on from that friendship and that bond? Life is changing constantly, and for some people that means to move on with that. It doesn't mean they're bad friends, as hutful and betrayed as you might feel. It means you guys were good when you were friends, but now you've both moved on with good memories to look back on.
The test of friendship is what you're friends will say and do when you need thier help. If you call on someone that hold you to ranks among their heart, they will drop what they are dong t listen to you, and help you. Even if they can't drop what they're doing, they will give you a hopeful word to keep you up before coming to talk to you again. Even if the person you call on is the last person you'd think to talk to, that's when ou find out who you're friends are.
The people you know are not your friends, are the people who may drop what they're doing to talk to you, but the conversation ends up talking about not what you need to have as a person in crisis, a little lifting up or advice, but as to what their problems are and how they need something. This is when you know who your friends are.
To me at least, friends are people with whom you have a mutualistc relationship with. You're there for them, they're there for you. This may be with someone who is so opposite from you that you can't even understand why you're friends, but you can't help but love them anyways. The bond that true friendship should have, in my book, should be like family. Strong and endearing. Have as many fights as you want that can hurt you're feelings to the deepest core, have them apologize to the bottom of their hearts, and still be able to laugh about it.
There are different relationships of friendship. The kind where you can spend every minute of the day with them and not get tired of them. This is the most envied relationship of all. Why can't you have a friendship like that? Don't be envious of this. This is when people need each other that want to be with them. It's nota desparate thing, it's just who they are.
Another is very spaztic. They will talk, then not talk, and talk and not tak, but when it comes down to it, they will be there in a moment's notice. This is friendship that may not last the longest, but maybe the most memorable. People in these friendships wish they could have the one where they're together every minute. The fact of the matter is, people in these friendships can't handle being together every minute of the day together. Which is perfectly fine. Sometmes you don't need to be together to have that bond. Just knowing that you have a good friend is comforting enough.
The long distance friendships are one of the more solid o frienships. This may not mean that you're the next state over, whereas maybe just the next cityor town over. Friends here may have met through some sort of meetin or competition, or maybe even just running into each other at the store. The world would like to think that these frienships never last, that you need to be with someone constantly for a frienship to ever last. Boy are they wrong. My best friends have, or do, live at least a half an hour away. My childhood best friend lives on he other side of the state, and we still do talk. These frienships are the STRONGEST. Friends here almost have a telepathic way of knowing each other. They may not see each other everyday, or talk all the time, but they're in the heart and minds of each other constantly, at least my friends are in mine. They can go a year or two or three or ive without seeing each other, and when they do, it's as if nothing's changed. They still laugh and talk. These friends don't have fights. They have disagreements that they work out. Long distance relationships require more mature and level headed people. They realize that everyone does things for a reason, and they try to understand that where the disagreement comes in. They talk and it's almost like a research essay then changed into a persuassive essay. There're two sides and facts and no argument, but then there is one side and support and facts and rebutles. There is no drama and backstabbing, just irritation, but then the calm of questions and opening up and releasing of that stubborn attitude of "my way or the highway." This is why these friendships are the strongest. If it took these friends a thousand years, they would do anything for each other.
Frienships are probably the most important thing to have in your life. Friends keep us going whether they're related or not. They support us in whatever we do and keep to each other or their memories. I've had all three of these kinds of frienships, and each one of these friens have been very good friend and/or still are. During this time of uncertainty and change where things will get hard and intimidating and oppressing, friends will be there for me, and I will find out who my friends are and hold dearly to them. I hope we all have friends like these that we can count on.
<3 Beth.
During this time of getting ready to move, I think I've noticed this more and more and been more grateful for those sorts of things. Most people when they hear they're going to move, start to distance themselves from their friends hoping to make the separation easier. I've found I want to cling more tightly to my friends so they think the best of me before I leave. As long as yo leave a good impression behind, why should the bond between you and your friends ever diminish? Yes, maybe you won't talk to them as much, or you might run into them as many times, but so long as you love them, and they love you, that bond will always be there.
So what if some people move on from that friendship and that bond? Life is changing constantly, and for some people that means to move on with that. It doesn't mean they're bad friends, as hutful and betrayed as you might feel. It means you guys were good when you were friends, but now you've both moved on with good memories to look back on.
The test of friendship is what you're friends will say and do when you need thier help. If you call on someone that hold you to ranks among their heart, they will drop what they are dong t listen to you, and help you. Even if they can't drop what they're doing, they will give you a hopeful word to keep you up before coming to talk to you again. Even if the person you call on is the last person you'd think to talk to, that's when ou find out who you're friends are.
The people you know are not your friends, are the people who may drop what they're doing to talk to you, but the conversation ends up talking about not what you need to have as a person in crisis, a little lifting up or advice, but as to what their problems are and how they need something. This is when you know who your friends are.
To me at least, friends are people with whom you have a mutualistc relationship with. You're there for them, they're there for you. This may be with someone who is so opposite from you that you can't even understand why you're friends, but you can't help but love them anyways. The bond that true friendship should have, in my book, should be like family. Strong and endearing. Have as many fights as you want that can hurt you're feelings to the deepest core, have them apologize to the bottom of their hearts, and still be able to laugh about it.
There are different relationships of friendship. The kind where you can spend every minute of the day with them and not get tired of them. This is the most envied relationship of all. Why can't you have a friendship like that? Don't be envious of this. This is when people need each other that want to be with them. It's nota desparate thing, it's just who they are.
Another is very spaztic. They will talk, then not talk, and talk and not tak, but when it comes down to it, they will be there in a moment's notice. This is friendship that may not last the longest, but maybe the most memorable. People in these friendships wish they could have the one where they're together every minute. The fact of the matter is, people in these friendships can't handle being together every minute of the day together. Which is perfectly fine. Sometmes you don't need to be together to have that bond. Just knowing that you have a good friend is comforting enough.
The long distance friendships are one of the more solid o frienships. This may not mean that you're the next state over, whereas maybe just the next cityor town over. Friends here may have met through some sort of meetin or competition, or maybe even just running into each other at the store. The world would like to think that these frienships never last, that you need to be with someone constantly for a frienship to ever last. Boy are they wrong. My best friends have, or do, live at least a half an hour away. My childhood best friend lives on he other side of the state, and we still do talk. These frienships are the STRONGEST. Friends here almost have a telepathic way of knowing each other. They may not see each other everyday, or talk all the time, but they're in the heart and minds of each other constantly, at least my friends are in mine. They can go a year or two or three or ive without seeing each other, and when they do, it's as if nothing's changed. They still laugh and talk. These friends don't have fights. They have disagreements that they work out. Long distance relationships require more mature and level headed people. They realize that everyone does things for a reason, and they try to understand that where the disagreement comes in. They talk and it's almost like a research essay then changed into a persuassive essay. There're two sides and facts and no argument, but then there is one side and support and facts and rebutles. There is no drama and backstabbing, just irritation, but then the calm of questions and opening up and releasing of that stubborn attitude of "my way or the highway." This is why these friendships are the strongest. If it took these friends a thousand years, they would do anything for each other.
Frienships are probably the most important thing to have in your life. Friends keep us going whether they're related or not. They support us in whatever we do and keep to each other or their memories. I've had all three of these kinds of frienships, and each one of these friens have been very good friend and/or still are. During this time of uncertainty and change where things will get hard and intimidating and oppressing, friends will be there for me, and I will find out who my friends are and hold dearly to them. I hope we all have friends like these that we can count on.
<3 Beth.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Waiting...waiting...waiting.... some more.
Yeah, everything's at a stand still other than dad getting ready for his job. Today he bought a whole bunch of shirts and everything and was asking us what looked good with what. It was kind of funny.
He took my brothers to a friends house and mom is at work so I have the house to myself. If we had a big house, or something cool to do inside, I'd do something wreckless. Naturally, though, I don' think I have the guts.
Keep you posted on what's going on because what's better than knowing that you're friends are still alive?
<3Beth
He took my brothers to a friends house and mom is at work so I have the house to myself. If we had a big house, or something cool to do inside, I'd do something wreckless. Naturally, though, I don' think I have the guts.
Keep you posted on what's going on because what's better than knowing that you're friends are still alive?
<3Beth
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Patience is a Virtue
Things are not getting done around here, mostly its just painting and cleaning and all the usual chores. As more and more people find out we're moving, the more and more we hear "aww! we're going to miss you!" or "NO! You're not allowed to leave!" And I understand this and it makes me feel more loved than I thought I was, but it also means more people to connect with before we leave. That's going to really suck. I'm already scheduled to spend the weekend with one of my best childhood friends, MaryAnn. I'm sure we'll hav a blast!
As we think more and more about what's going to happen and everything, the more I dread to move. Such as today we were talking about how we would fit into the society and the culture of Deer Park, the place we plan to live, and Mikey, my little brother, was saying "I get to be the new hot guy at church and school." When he said this, I instantly wanted to stay here. He always seems to be the person everyone knows and wants to be friends with, leaving me and Matt, my older brother, in his shadow. That's not something I don't want to have happen. In fact, I want to have a place where no one knows my family and only knows me, because when everyone knows just me, they only have me to know, and love and everything. Once they meet my family and my little brother, they'll forget who I am. And when I say I want to have a place where only people know me, I don't mean to be the coolest person that everyone wants to be friends with and be an attention hog, I mean that I want to be known and loved for who I am, a nice, outgoing, funny person who cares more about other people than I do myself. I don't care about being cool and having a lot of friends, I just want to be known. At Stadium, people don't have to know who I'm related to, what they look like and the kind of person they are, just that I have family. Sure I'm not well known, but Stadium is my place to just blend in with other people and not worry about having to live up, or down, to what people know about my family. When we move to Deer Park, it's going to be small school where the high school and middle school will probably be in one building and everyone, even the seniors and all the people I would have been friends with, will all know Mikey and not even give me a second glance. They probably won't even give me a first. I don't want that.
Mikey gets his reputation by bragging about how buff he is, how much smarter and "cooler" he is than everyone else, and by making fun of people. I don't want that kind of reputation, but it seems like that's the only way people are going to know me. Yes, Mikey has a different side to him, the funny, sensitive, smart, nerdy side where you just want to be around him because he's so sweet, but I can't stand to be seen with him in public when he doesn't want anything to do with me, and just wants to make fun of people.
You want to say that "Oh well the horses are your world" and that's partially true, but my mom is part of that world too, and it's not very big. The horse world is very,very, very, small. Mom and I have a rep of being a pair no matter where we go. I just want a place that is my own where people know me and don't know who my family is. If there's one thing I hate, it's living beneath the shadow of my little brother because he's not nice to people in public. Why is it that I'm nice person, but I'm no better than the gum on people's shoes? Or is that just how I'm feeling right now?
As we think more and more about what's going to happen and everything, the more I dread to move. Such as today we were talking about how we would fit into the society and the culture of Deer Park, the place we plan to live, and Mikey, my little brother, was saying "I get to be the new hot guy at church and school." When he said this, I instantly wanted to stay here. He always seems to be the person everyone knows and wants to be friends with, leaving me and Matt, my older brother, in his shadow. That's not something I don't want to have happen. In fact, I want to have a place where no one knows my family and only knows me, because when everyone knows just me, they only have me to know, and love and everything. Once they meet my family and my little brother, they'll forget who I am. And when I say I want to have a place where only people know me, I don't mean to be the coolest person that everyone wants to be friends with and be an attention hog, I mean that I want to be known and loved for who I am, a nice, outgoing, funny person who cares more about other people than I do myself. I don't care about being cool and having a lot of friends, I just want to be known. At Stadium, people don't have to know who I'm related to, what they look like and the kind of person they are, just that I have family. Sure I'm not well known, but Stadium is my place to just blend in with other people and not worry about having to live up, or down, to what people know about my family. When we move to Deer Park, it's going to be small school where the high school and middle school will probably be in one building and everyone, even the seniors and all the people I would have been friends with, will all know Mikey and not even give me a second glance. They probably won't even give me a first. I don't want that.
Mikey gets his reputation by bragging about how buff he is, how much smarter and "cooler" he is than everyone else, and by making fun of people. I don't want that kind of reputation, but it seems like that's the only way people are going to know me. Yes, Mikey has a different side to him, the funny, sensitive, smart, nerdy side where you just want to be around him because he's so sweet, but I can't stand to be seen with him in public when he doesn't want anything to do with me, and just wants to make fun of people.
You want to say that "Oh well the horses are your world" and that's partially true, but my mom is part of that world too, and it's not very big. The horse world is very,very, very, small. Mom and I have a rep of being a pair no matter where we go. I just want a place that is my own where people know me and don't know who my family is. If there's one thing I hate, it's living beneath the shadow of my little brother because he's not nice to people in public. Why is it that I'm nice person, but I'm no better than the gum on people's shoes? Or is that just how I'm feeling right now?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Plans Are Being Set.
Hello readers! Yes, I know, 2 in one day. That's because action is finally being made. Dad got the job, and everyone that I've talked to so far is not liking it very much. And I get it. I wouldn't want me to move away either. We're not leaving until June because we have to get a bunch of stuff done and sell the house and look for a place and clean and clean and clean. We'll be packing and cleaning on the weekends, and dad's gonna be over there by the end of the month and not coming home often, so he's gotta get a bunch of stuff done before he leaves. He might be taking Matt with him so he'll have company and such. So that'll be cool if that happens.
In my mind I've already begun planning what I need to get rid of and stuff. Basically, all the stuff in my closet, minus the dresser and clothes, and other stuff. I'll need to bring my paint to repaint my room the way it is now, which I will NOT repaint before we move. If the new people don't like it, they can paint over it. They'd repaint it anyways. So no big deal.
It's starting to hit me now everything that'll be left behind and everything that we'll have to do and all the work, and the goodbyes. I didn't think I'd be thinking about this untill we were in the car over, but now... it's just, wow... I'll have to find a new trainer, different friends. Over here I didn't mind going to a new school because I always had someone to hang out with that I knew, I've always had someone somewhere new, but this time will be different.
*DEEP BREATH* Ok, I have to go to bed now. It's late and I have seminary and everything, so I'm taking everything as it comes. Don't let life catch you unexpected by looking at the past.
<3 Beth
In my mind I've already begun planning what I need to get rid of and stuff. Basically, all the stuff in my closet, minus the dresser and clothes, and other stuff. I'll need to bring my paint to repaint my room the way it is now, which I will NOT repaint before we move. If the new people don't like it, they can paint over it. They'd repaint it anyways. So no big deal.
It's starting to hit me now everything that'll be left behind and everything that we'll have to do and all the work, and the goodbyes. I didn't think I'd be thinking about this untill we were in the car over, but now... it's just, wow... I'll have to find a new trainer, different friends. Over here I didn't mind going to a new school because I always had someone to hang out with that I knew, I've always had someone somewhere new, but this time will be different.
*DEEP BREATH* Ok, I have to go to bed now. It's late and I have seminary and everything, so I'm taking everything as it comes. Don't let life catch you unexpected by looking at the past.
<3 Beth
So the Adventure Begins!
I've started this blog because I thought you, yes you whoever you are, hopefully someone I know, will have something to have to be able to see what I'm doing. My dad got offered the job he's been trying to get for some months now, and I'm getting the feeling that things will soon be rolling faster than an armadilo in a ball roling down Mt Everest. Haha! I'm working on my wacky similies because we're looking to move, basically, to the middle of the country. Which will be a new thing because of the convience of all the stores nearby and the friends that live really close.
That is if we do move, which is likely, to be honest. I just know that my brothers are going to die from being in the middle of nowhere. They are NOT country boys. Mikey is always wanting to skate and Matt like to make animations on the computer. Well, that might change for them because once we brought the horses over, because we want land, they 'd have to help put up fencing and taking care of the maintenence. They would even get to tlearn how to feed horses on days that I will (probably) be sick. So haha to them!
Mom said that we'd have to get some realy thick coats and stuff to keep warm, especially at this time of the year with all th snow and ice or whatever. We'll also have to sell our truck and get a four by four to get through everything. The horses would also need some bigger blankets, and we'd need to get everything together to get them all ready. Even with the blankets they'd probably get really fuzzy, which is soooo cute!!!
I wonder what the school would be like there. Definetly smaller which isn't a problem, but since the town will be small, I don't doubt that everyone will know us before we show up. I kinda hope that doesn't happen, though. It'd be a little weird!
If I were to say anything about being worried, it would be about the weather. When we went over a few months ago to look at houses, I nearly dried up like a big ol' prune! Actually, that's gross, but you get what I mean. I need e lots of moisterizer and chap stick. And since it's more severe, I'm not exactly looking forward to the very hot season or very cold season. AND IT DOESN'T RAIN A LOT OVER THERE!! *sad face* I love the rain. I've already called a room on the top floor if we get a house with more than 1 story on it. That way when it does rain I can hear it on the roof.
Speaking of houses, we have a lot to do before even think abou moving. We have to sort through crap, get new windows, new carpet, paint, finish the yards and plan for my 16th birthday party! (We are NOT leaving until I have the biggest and best 16th party ever!) (I will also post that up to when I get the chance.) SO! We won't be going anywhere for a couple of months, maybe not even until June, and that's if we agree this is what we're supposed to do.
SO! Until the next time, See you later! And never fail your heart, because it usually turns out to be right even when everyone thinks you're wrong. :)
<3 Beth
That is if we do move, which is likely, to be honest. I just know that my brothers are going to die from being in the middle of nowhere. They are NOT country boys. Mikey is always wanting to skate and Matt like to make animations on the computer. Well, that might change for them because once we brought the horses over, because we want land, they 'd have to help put up fencing and taking care of the maintenence. They would even get to tlearn how to feed horses on days that I will (probably) be sick. So haha to them!
Mom said that we'd have to get some realy thick coats and stuff to keep warm, especially at this time of the year with all th snow and ice or whatever. We'll also have to sell our truck and get a four by four to get through everything. The horses would also need some bigger blankets, and we'd need to get everything together to get them all ready. Even with the blankets they'd probably get really fuzzy, which is soooo cute!!!
I wonder what the school would be like there. Definetly smaller which isn't a problem, but since the town will be small, I don't doubt that everyone will know us before we show up. I kinda hope that doesn't happen, though. It'd be a little weird!
If I were to say anything about being worried, it would be about the weather. When we went over a few months ago to look at houses, I nearly dried up like a big ol' prune! Actually, that's gross, but you get what I mean. I need e lots of moisterizer and chap stick. And since it's more severe, I'm not exactly looking forward to the very hot season or very cold season. AND IT DOESN'T RAIN A LOT OVER THERE!! *sad face* I love the rain. I've already called a room on the top floor if we get a house with more than 1 story on it. That way when it does rain I can hear it on the roof.
Speaking of houses, we have a lot to do before even think abou moving. We have to sort through crap, get new windows, new carpet, paint, finish the yards and plan for my 16th birthday party! (We are NOT leaving until I have the biggest and best 16th party ever!) (I will also post that up to when I get the chance.) SO! We won't be going anywhere for a couple of months, maybe not even until June, and that's if we agree this is what we're supposed to do.
SO! Until the next time, See you later! And never fail your heart, because it usually turns out to be right even when everyone thinks you're wrong. :)
<3 Beth
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